It’s been closing in on two years since the last thing I wrote on this site. The personal journey has been fascinating since then, to the point where my mind feels like it’s back to 15-20 years ago. Writing, although it has never been the farthest thing from my mind, had become something of a non-factor in my everyday desires and adjustments. There were a select few times where I did type out a few articles in total, but I just never really cared to hit Publish on any of them. A couple of them are still wildly relevant, with minor adjustments needed to update them to more relevancy. Maybe I’ll get around to that now…

Something I have noticed over the last six months or so, is an “explosion” of views. While my overall reach was never significant back in the days, it also wasn’t like yelling into the void of an echo chamber. These days however, with no original content released is nearly two years, views have been 4-5x, at minimum, higher than at any peak moment on this site. A bulk of them are from the United States, but a good bit still are from around the world; Belgium, China, Portugal, Germany and so on, all adding in a number of views per day.

I wouldn’t say that this view boon has been a slow burn either, but I also wouldn’t say it’s been all at once. There have been a handful of points recently in which I’ve sat here and asked myself “should I address this? Should I bring light to something that would be fleeting?” Initial feelings were usually pointed towards fleeting, but as the days passed, and even weeks, the numbers wouldn’t stop going up. I would play a game with myself where if i got X amount of views this day, I’d write something about it, and then I’d change it last minute to “if the next day beats this days totals”, then I’d raise the stakes to a higher view count, until I finally noticed that the views has come close to tripling last month, with weekly gains higher than the last.

In the end with all of these numbers and such, is it natural? Are these numbers legitimate? I’d like to think they are, and reaching the milestone(s) that I’ve reached over the last month, I think it’s finally worth looking into. I’m not going to go into a desperate shout for clarity and say “if you see this, leave a comment and say so!” (even though I just did, but as an example!), but I don’t want a deflating defeat when no one says anything.

Does this all make me want to write again/more? It really does, but at the same time, the not-so-back-of-my-mind thoughts and worries is that it’ll all be for less than my peak times writing here (2017). Certainly I can do it for the love of writing, and I do love doing this, but I also don’t want to be doing this for the bare minimum of views and next to no interaction. It’s really an incredibly difficult decision. And while the view boon has been very noticeable, no one really is even commenting, so there’s that. Are these 100% bots that somehow were intelligent enough to stick with a place with a plethora of fun, varied articles and such?

We’ll see where this goes. The fact that I am sitting here during the butt-crack of dawn on a Saturday typing this instead of just splurging on YouTube documentaries and My 600lb Life videos, says something in quite the booming voice. I’ve had a few long form, long term projects in my head for a while now that I’ve thought about working on – maybe this is the push that I need to execute things? As much as I hate to say this phrase, “we’ll see”, it’s as on point as anything can be.

For now though, I see you. You’ve been seeing me while I’ve been away. But…do you see this as well?