Indulge me for a time, as I’m about to tell a story about a story, and how the story has yet to be told, and the determination to do what it takes to make sure I finish the story in some form:
Trust me when I say what I’m about to go into isn’t intended to be either an ego stroke, nor a way to put myself down. It’s basically the journey to see The Galarian Chronicles, at least Book I, come to fruition, and what keeps holding me back (it’s never the same thing, but maybe it is in the end?)
It’s been almost twenty years now. The stories had developed in my head since early 2005. Back then it was just a formulation of characters, locations and its ending. These were …are, going to be loosely based on the friendships I made while playing EverQuest in the early 2000s, turned into a theme relevant adventure of the ages.
Primarily The Galarian Chronicles is a story and travels of two best friends, a half elf warrior named Galarian, and his wood elf druid best friend Aeriann. The story, without spoiling anything to it, would also have been a journey with Galarian through mental, physical and emotional challenges that he has been battling, while battling to keep the world safe. It’s also a story of friendship with Aeriann who, at times, plays a larger and more significant role than the stories namesake. Before I had envisioned the further stories, the end of Book I was just going to be mostly an end to that story, with wiggle room to expand if I ever wanted.
And boy, did I want to.
This whole near twenty year process has been …a process. That’s as simplistic as I can be when describing it. There’s never been a point where I’ve been bored with it, disappointed with what I’ve had done so far or thought up so far, and definitely no point where I did not want to complete any of it. For me, as hard as it may seem to believe with how I can type out 3k words of gaming related stuff in less than an hour, it’s been a challenge to sit and get anything out. It might have something to do with the fact that I had been writing about video games since my junior year in high school more or less. Comfort level and experience really helped with being able to do that – the problem is writing a book is a whole other beast, and every single time I thought I’d be able to tame it, something always bites back at me.
I won’t rattle off the complete list of detriments that have cropped up throughout the last two decades and change – for one, I really don’t feel that this needs too much of a downer beyond what’s coming up, when the point of this all is putting my foot down and completing this. Sometimes it was just simply due to writers block. Like, I have this story ready to be told, but even when I have ample time to sit and just mind dump, for lack of a better term, I lock up. Then there are times where I can get like a couple thousand words done, and then nothing for a very long time. It has never felt like a chore to work on it; anytime I was able to get something done was a highlight of that day/week/month.
Taking on other activities also proved to be a detriment in their own way. I did the streaming thing on Twitch and, while I enjoyed it for the most part, it really did eat away at time I could have potentially gone forward with more work on the stories. Honestly, way before this I had been aggressively attempting to get my foot in the door of the games journalism world (for quite a long time), but doors kept slamming in my face, or wouldn’t budge. That was my big dream and desire, and had been since I was a teen. I got to the point where I got so fed up and discouraged with that adventure, that I more or less gave up in 2019. Kept this site around for some reason I guess. It went hand in hand with stuff like PSX Mania, Dreamcast Mania and the Backlog Break, and attempts to keep people up to speed with The Galarian Chronicles.
This is where our story takes some turns, I suppose.
Since Covid-19 had started becoming a focal point in the world, my own mental, physical and emotional health has been at its worst. In conjunction with me giving up on the games journalism career late 2019, as well as getting laid off a month before shit hit the fan with the virus (with how awful my immune system is, the latter was a blessing in disguise), nothing had been genuinely working for me. To truncate this path I’ve been on for brevity sake, my health had started to slip into a nosedive. Without going into actual specifics, there have been moments in which I seriously had no idea if I had much time left. Numerous breathing tests done, everything inconclusive. Hell, I went for a walk to Central Park yesterday and had issues with breathing after a couple of blocks to and from, to the point where I had to sit for a half hour on the latter, feeling like I was going to pass out. In June I’m going in for an electrocardiogram to see if it’s heart related. Other things have been an issue as well with no clear cut definition as to what in the shit is happening to me. It’s taxing on the mind dealing with something doctors still can’t pinpoint.
This was all while doing my streaming projects, too. They gave me a slight distraction and minor reprieve, but having to visit a hospital once, usually multiple times a week, it really takes a toll on you mentally and emotionally. I had got to the point where, as I mentioned, I felt like my time was winding down. As time slowly passed, and I was thankfully still upright, a lot of stuff started to sink in thick.
In general, no one knows how much time they have. Here today, gone tomorrow. It’s how we make use of this time we’ve all been afforded. I started worrying less about the time I have left, and being filled with a desire to leave something positive behind. It’s been an eye-opening and quite humbling experience, to say the least. You gain a newfound appreciation for all that you’ve been given and afforded. You tend to not let opportunities slip by like they had previously. It didn’t give me the desire or the urge to try one last time with games journalism, though.
It did, however, reinvigorated me with regards to my desires in seeing The Galarian Chronicles finally come to light.
My goal used to be to have a completed book, ready to, and then eventually, publish; that had always been the endgame. Now? While I do wish to still share the story/stories, I feel compelled to, at the very least, finish the story. I just want to get at the very least the entire first story out and down on paper. It’s imperative for me to get it done (even just an entire rough cut, before I sit and comb through to make it easier to follow the flow) than for it to be 100% done, if any of that made sense.
In preparation for this renewed push, I got my laptop set up for the times I want to go and travel to some coffee shop and write some stuff while there. Previously the laptop was having issues with super slow OS loads and such (had barely used it since e3 2017), so I did a factory reset, and everything is in a working order. With how god awful the weather has been in NYC (mid 80s starting late April or so), and looks like will continue to be, I might be out there, nibbling on a croissant while going into a flashback portion of the story, multiple times a week!
I am not giving myself a timetable or a schedule to follow. I have this thing where if I try to adhere to a strict schedule, or even a suggested one, I just can’t. It feels like I am putting pressure on myself to get something done. On the other hand, I did just say I will potentially be out there multiple times a week writing, though the choice between baking at home with high temps or sitting somewhere with AC, munching on snacks and having House on my laptop in case I’m not feeling the writing, is an easy choice, I’m not going to always expect to be writing every single day out.
As far as posting progression updates – I’m not really giving that any thought for now. I want to facilitate this push to write as strongly as I can. If I feel like there’s some kind of grandiose update to share, I’ll be sure to, but I don’t want to waste much time on non-updates.
The biggest takeaway from all of this when it comes to writing, outside of my determination to finish the story, that I’d like people to get from this, is a sense of passion and desire that I’ve always had, but felt like it was held back more often than not. I’m legitimately excited about this, especially too since that urge to write has been coming back little by little. The Galarian Chronicles has always been something special to me, and even through the malaise of health troubles and just not being able to put pen to paper in general, I’ve never wanted to give up on this.
More so however, I really hope the biggest takeaway in general to all of this that I hope people discover from this, is don’t let things slip by and don’t put off things you really want to do. Many of us know not when it’s ultimately our time, so it’s that much more important to cherish it, and try to complete what you’ve set out to do for a long time. For some, it takes a long time for that to truly be understood, but instead of wishing I had realized things sooner, it’s changed my mental trajectory towards determination and anticipation for what I want to accomplish. It feels like, for the first time in countless years, I can see the endgame with the first book. It won’t happen overnight, it may not happen this year, but I’m in a position where I actually know I can finally….
Finish The Story.
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